My dad has been in the hospital for the last 2 days. He was really swollen & tired, nothing really bad but it just makes me realize how old he is really getting. I remember when I was little & I thought he was the smartest man in the world (he is pretty damn smart) and he could kick the crap out of anyone. Now I see him getting older not being able to see & his body just giving up on him...it sucks so much to see your parents get old. My dad has diabetes & hepatitis so his kidneys are giving out on him, but does he want a transplant for my brother or I......nope. He says why would I do that to prolong my life a couple years then what, you or your brother may have problems with your kidneys & you will only have 1 to depend on. He always jokes that is he knew he was going to live this long he would have taken better care of his body.

I've been really down lately thinking about where my life is going. I feel like I'm sitting still not doing much & everything is passing me by. I really wish I had a job I enjoyed, something where I could stretch my creativity.